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inane annals
Guests and Ghosts
by Mark Pompeo | 04 Apr 2007, 0:00

I met the Z man. He lives next floor down. Up until then we had had only a nodding acquaintance. He hides behind his hair and his glasses. But then I would too if I were not toiling in obscurity. He writes for an alternative paper. I told him I liked his ghosts article. It was on the last page, he having taken the place that week of the normal writer. In it he confesses himself to be a skeptic, and maybe even a crass materialist. He says that the only thing that has kept his mind open all these years has been the parade of witchy girls who have come through his life. And it's true, they have given us all hope, with their raven hair and their ruby lips, and their twitching nose rings.

And I particularly liked the ending. I even acted it out for him, with all the funny little voices, putting extra added and high pitched emphasis on the "really" parts. It made him laugh.

The end went like this. And I paraphrase, I take some liberties, to do justice to the absurdity.

He said that after the exhibit they were herding the guests off the boat and as they did he stopped to talk to one of the young women who was doing the herding.

—Are there really ghosts here?

—Oh, yes sir, there are ghosts here, all kinds of ghosts, ghosts all around, this place if full of ghosts.

—Really?

—Oh of course, there are ghosts here, all kinds of ghosts, ghosts all around, ghosts above deck, and ghosts below. Did you see the exhibit?

—Really?

And here the girl sucks in her breath, takes her patience pills, gets consternated, and knowing that this cannot go on forever speaks in a note of exasperated condescension. She is curt. She is clipped. She is terse and laconic. She is to the point.

—Sir, I think it's time for you to go now.

Now I suppose you have to use your imagination to get it. Or do all of the little voices for yourself. To see how funny it is. To see how very very funny it all is. But you definitely did not have to be there.

But the girl is right. They always are. The girls. The ones who herd.

For you see, the guests are leaving. There are ghosts here. And it's time for us to go.

Really.

And that's why I always say sir.

No matter what.

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